Why I didn't 3K.

[elwen]

I just realized I forgot to share this email from '04 that was forwarded to law-announce:

Hello Friend

I have noticed a disturbing trend among the Property 3Kers: studying.

This cannot continue. As the reigning 3K King, let me tell you about your duties as 3Kers: do nothing.

Example: if Kelman asks "Does Chloe have any future interest in her mother's property?" you should proudly write "Perhaps, if she could do something about those shag rugs and avocado countertops."

The best 3Kers will supplement with emoticons, even when they are bluebooking. :) ;) (An additionally excellent 3K move would be to draw a picture of Chloe with a thought balloon above her head with a house inside.)

Last semester, some of you received excellent grades not because of your brains, your academic devotion to the material, your attentive notetaking in class, your frequent discussion with classmates and professors, your study of secondary materials cited in the casebooks, your nice clothes, your good posture, etc. Rather, in fact, you received your high grade because of my especially low grades.

Someone's 3.9 was the direct result of my 3.0. (Applying similar reasoning, somebody must have gotten a 5.8 due to my courageous 1.7). I was happy to do it. I fulfilled my duty. If it means that no one hires me and I end up divorced and living in my 1999 Dodge Minivan, so be it. Such is the code of the 3Ker.

In sum, good luck. Honor the code. You will pass. See you in Milwaukee (I'll be the guy in the sleeping bag in the Dodge.)

See, I didn't 3K because I could never live up to that.

Only comment on finals, since I'm not supposed to think about them afterwards for fear of carryover effects on subsequent performance: holy crap, 4 hours is a long time to type continuously. I got a neck cramp from staring down at my laptop screen. It's definitely nothing like hunching over and scribbling equations in a bluebook.