Hamlet in H.

[elwen]

[Recent lack of updating is entirely attributable to Disgaea 3 addiction. Hopefully will get over it soon . . . like when I unlock all of the character classes.]

I've been slowly making my way through By Hook or by Crook, by David Crystal. It's basically a free-association ramble about the English language. There are lots of great parts, but overall it's still a slow read for some reason.

But this part I had to share: he's talking about a wordplayer who demands a challenge. At first the guy just has to make up a sentence with every word beginning with 'H'. By the end, he has to retell Hamlet in the same format. So he starts like this:

HAMLET
Act I Scene 1
Hamlet headquarters
Hamlet henchmen have had horrific haunting. Hark! Ho!
Heck! Hair-raising hackles happen. Heebie-jeebies. Horrible.
Horatio hazards - hallucinations? Had hallucinogens? Hangovers? Headaches?
Henchmen howl: Haven't had hashish.
Have.
Haven't!
Humbug!
Horrendous haunter hovers hither, holding helmeted head high.
Heavens! Historic Hamlet!
Horatio harangues haunter. Hold! Hold!
Horizon has half-light. Haunter hears hen hooting. Hurries hence.
Hold! Here? Here? Hopeless.
Have Hamlet here hereafter. Hopefully he'll handle haunter happily.

It took me a few reads, but I couldn't stop giggling.

Now I want to go around shouting, "Heavens! Historic Hamlet!" XD

I wish the rest of it was available somewhere, but Google didn't turn up anything.