Non-action and habits.
Aug. 19th, 2004 01:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elwenI've been reading too many essays from The Empty Board -- a column in the American Go Journal, if you're wondering -- and this one just made so much sense.
It struck me again when I was thinking about how when I first came here, I had to be so attentive when walking home, and watch for the landmarks that indicated where to turn. Nowadays, I just go down the street and am around the corner before I realize it. I don't even see the red roof that I used to depend on.
I'm not sure if that's quite the same thing as the essay's talking about, but that's the train of thought it triggered, anyhow. Habits are interesting things. Sometimes, I have to tell myself to trust in them more. Like, when I get out of my car, I always automatically lock the doors, often without even realizing what I'm doing. Then occasionally later in the day I'll be struck by a sudden worry that I didn't lock the doors, because I can't remember having done so. Similarly, at work here we have these double-sided magnets with our names on them, that we have to flip over when we arrive, and flip back when we leave. When I first got here, I was always forgetting, but now it's just become a habit. And yet sometimes, especially when I first come into work in the morning, I'll suddenly wonder if I'd remembered to "flip myself out" the evening before.
My mind that wants to always be in control and aware, analyzing and thinking things through, always fights against these habits, and yet I don't think they are really unhealthy.
Another example of how things change as you get used to something: when I first got here, I would count the stations on the train before I had to get off. After a while, I would also listen for the name of the correct station, double-checking it against my count. Now, I check off each station as we pass it -- Juso, Minami-kata, Sozenji, Awaji, Kami-shinjo, Aikawa, Shojaku, Minami-Ibaraki, Ibaraki-shi -- but I don't remember exactly how many stations there are unless I stop to count them. [Random: the station names always feel like a palindrome, centered at Kami-shinjo. At first I got Sozenji and Shojaku confused at lot, and I've done it with Awaji and Aikawa, and now that I look at it, Minami-kata and Minami-Ibaraki pair up nicely as well. @_@]
Um, yeah, just another installment of bizarre musings from yours truly. I think there was more, but I can't remember it just now.
It struck me again when I was thinking about how when I first came here, I had to be so attentive when walking home, and watch for the landmarks that indicated where to turn. Nowadays, I just go down the street and am around the corner before I realize it. I don't even see the red roof that I used to depend on.
I'm not sure if that's quite the same thing as the essay's talking about, but that's the train of thought it triggered, anyhow. Habits are interesting things. Sometimes, I have to tell myself to trust in them more. Like, when I get out of my car, I always automatically lock the doors, often without even realizing what I'm doing. Then occasionally later in the day I'll be struck by a sudden worry that I didn't lock the doors, because I can't remember having done so. Similarly, at work here we have these double-sided magnets with our names on them, that we have to flip over when we arrive, and flip back when we leave. When I first got here, I was always forgetting, but now it's just become a habit. And yet sometimes, especially when I first come into work in the morning, I'll suddenly wonder if I'd remembered to "flip myself out" the evening before.
My mind that wants to always be in control and aware, analyzing and thinking things through, always fights against these habits, and yet I don't think they are really unhealthy.
Another example of how things change as you get used to something: when I first got here, I would count the stations on the train before I had to get off. After a while, I would also listen for the name of the correct station, double-checking it against my count. Now, I check off each station as we pass it -- Juso, Minami-kata, Sozenji, Awaji, Kami-shinjo, Aikawa, Shojaku, Minami-Ibaraki, Ibaraki-shi -- but I don't remember exactly how many stations there are unless I stop to count them. [Random: the station names always feel like a palindrome, centered at Kami-shinjo. At first I got Sozenji and Shojaku confused at lot, and I've done it with Awaji and Aikawa, and now that I look at it, Minami-kata and Minami-Ibaraki pair up nicely as well. @_@]
Um, yeah, just another installment of bizarre musings from yours truly. I think there was more, but I can't remember it just now.
