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Nobody wants me...
Jan. 29th, 2004 08:38 pmCareer fair today. V. depressing. All of the sheets effectively said, "We're looking for people who are . . . not you." It was practically all EE/CS type stuff. Which is no surprise, I suppose. The closest thing to ChemE were some places looking for people in materials engineering. Funny how Applied Materials is probably the most likely place I'd apply to, when I'd always thought I'd never have any to do with what they do. At least I have their t-shirt now, which I've always thought was really cool, that says, "We make the systems, that make the chips, that make the products, that change the world."
But I'm all insecure and worried and indecisive about my major again. I'm pretty sure it's too late to be a EE, even if I truly had more than an "I don't want to starve on the streets" intention of actually doing it. And I'm thinking that environmental ChemE is hopeless, and I wonder why I say I'm interested in semiconductors after that when I clearly lean towards o-chem over p-chem. One would think I'd rather do polymer chemistry. But the truth is I have no idea at all, because I have no experience at all.
At the end of dress dinner I got lectured by a professor for taking too many units, and for not taking advantage of what's really special about Caltech: the research opportunities. I like taking varied classes and all, but I guess I should take that to heart and try to work with professors more next year, rather than taking the negative space to explore more subjects. I should commit to ChemE and start seeing what its sub-field are like, rather than waver, because, really, there's no other major I can do right now.
Law school is also looking more appealing of late, but I don't know how much I like the idea of extending education and further delaying productivity. Being a lawyer seems like you have to invest so much, and it won't pay off for a long, long time. Whereas EE seems like instant gratification in comparison. I mean, if you look at job openings for legal positions at these companies, they say, "We don't want you unless you have a lot of prior experience." When they're looking for EEs, they say, "We want you before you graduate."
In general, I just feel so useless, like I'll never amount to anything. I'm good at very few things, and no one is interested in those.
But I'm all insecure and worried and indecisive about my major again. I'm pretty sure it's too late to be a EE, even if I truly had more than an "I don't want to starve on the streets" intention of actually doing it. And I'm thinking that environmental ChemE is hopeless, and I wonder why I say I'm interested in semiconductors after that when I clearly lean towards o-chem over p-chem. One would think I'd rather do polymer chemistry. But the truth is I have no idea at all, because I have no experience at all.
At the end of dress dinner I got lectured by a professor for taking too many units, and for not taking advantage of what's really special about Caltech: the research opportunities. I like taking varied classes and all, but I guess I should take that to heart and try to work with professors more next year, rather than taking the negative space to explore more subjects. I should commit to ChemE and start seeing what its sub-field are like, rather than waver, because, really, there's no other major I can do right now.
Law school is also looking more appealing of late, but I don't know how much I like the idea of extending education and further delaying productivity. Being a lawyer seems like you have to invest so much, and it won't pay off for a long, long time. Whereas EE seems like instant gratification in comparison. I mean, if you look at job openings for legal positions at these companies, they say, "We don't want you unless you have a lot of prior experience." When they're looking for EEs, they say, "We want you before you graduate."
In general, I just feel so useless, like I'll never amount to anything. I'm good at very few things, and no one is interested in those.
