elwen | Music: the happy drug. (Reply)

It always pisses me off when my dad rolls his eyes and intimates that he thinks my being in a choir is just a waste of time. Seriously, it kept me sane through Tech, and it's kept me happier since. This week is particularly hectic and stressful for me school-wise -- admittedly, part of that is because it's concert week -- and I just had a bombshell dropped on me by real life, too. But while we were in dress rehearsal tonight, I was just so completely focused on the music that everything else slipped away. Every few songs, I would remember that there were things I should be worrying about, and a wave of anxiety would wash over me -- then soon enough we would start singing the next song and I'd lose it. After a few times of this cycle, I realized that all my anxiety had become gathered into this tight little ball, and that was what I was brushing up against every time I thought about it. And then I realized that it was all there, all neatly in one place, and I could poke and prod at it, or throw it away from me, or just open my hand and let go and let it just dissipate into nothing. And as soon as I had that last image, it really did kind of just dissipate, and I felt better about my ability to handle what's coming at me this week.

The real life thing . . . well, the anxiety about that kind of crept back, but I can't expect to get over something like that so quickly anyway.